My Positive Birth Story

We are bombarded with traumatic pregnancy and birth stories, especially when we’re pregnant. Rarely do you hear about positive experiences. These daunting stories, also portrayed in films, give one the impression that giving birth is always extremely long, arduous and painful. This makes us fear it. I’m sure for some it would even put them off having children entirely!

During my pregnancy I steered clear of these accounts as best I could. Whenever someone wanted to tell me a disheartening experience I asked them to save it for after my labour. While I was excited and grateful for what lay ahead, I was also scared, confused and nervous about the birth purely because of what I had heard and seen. I didn’t want these stories to instil more fear into me. Instead I wanted to be excited to give birth to my baby.

Fear brings about adrenaline, the “fight or flight" hormone which causes contractions to stop, slow or have an erratic pattern, and lengthens labour. Adrenaline works against two hormones which help with labour and birth, oxytocin and endorphins. Oxytocin, the “love” hormone, stimulates powerful contractions during birth and labour as well as the release of milk in breastfeeding, helps us feel good and produces nurturing feelings and behaviours. Endorphins, the “calming” hormone is a natural pain-reliever and can even prompt an altered state of consciousness helping us deal with the process of giving birth.

So I set about changing my perception of birth, converting that fear of the unknown of labour into joy for meeting the little human. I can confidently say by changing my perception in this way, replacing fear with positive thinking and knowledge about birth, helped me have an experience that I am proud of.

---

My Birth Story

NOTE: This was my personal experience. By sharing my story, I hope to encourage other expectant mums and women in general to feel positive about birth. It can be a beautiful experience, not one to be afraid of. The most important thing to remember is as long as you have a healthy baby and you are healthy that’s all that matters.

My pregnancy was pretty smooth sailing. I felt slight nausea in the beginning weeks but nibbling on something usually did the trick. I also took Chinese herbs from my dad Chinese doctor Steven Clavey to ease this and prep my body.

I didn’t expect it but I loved being pregnant. I loved watching my growing belly and was in awe of my changing body. I felt more beautiful than ever before.

When I reached 38 weeks I was excited and impatient to meet my baby boy. My obstetrician, Lionel Steinberg, was going away the two weeks surrounding my due date so I was nervous that he wouldn’t be around to deliver him. Having seen Lionel for the duration of my pregnancy I was comfortable with him and knew he supported my wish for a low intervention birth*.

And so it happened at 38.5 weeks

In the early hours of the morning on Friday, September 27th period pain like cramps began. At 3:30am I went to heat up a wheat pack when my water broke in the kitchen. I told my husband that something might be happening then went back to bed and tried to get some rest. An hour and a half later at 5:00am contractions started and I turned on the hypnobirthing app, Freya a virtual birth partner. It times contractions, has guided breathing during each contraction (or surge as they call them) and positive affirmations between each one.

At 5:30am the contractions were intensifying so my husband called the hospital. They asked how much pain I was in and whether I needed any pain relief. I told them I was in moderate discomfort but happy to continue labouring at home until things progressed. They told us that unless things progressed, to make our way to hospital at 8am for monitoring and that Lionel would be there then.

I intended on having a low intervention birth, unless there were complications. I didn’t want to take pethidine or morphine as it has an effect on the baby and can slow down labour. I wanted to avoid an epidural unless necessary. It numbs the body from the breasts down, inhibiting you from having an active birth as you have to lay on your back. It can also result in an episiotomy or tearing as you can’t feel how hard you are pushing. I was open to gas if the pain became too intense but wanted to hold off as long as I could. I wanted to listen to my body and allow the hormones, oxytocin and endorphins, to work without interference.

When it comes to pain barriers, I wasn’t sure where mine sat. I don’t mind getting needles but I wince when I pop a pimple… Did that mean I have a low or high pain barrier? And how painful is labour when you haven’t been through it before? While the contractions were uncomfortable, there were lulls between each one which meant I could relax and mentally prepare for the next surge.

To ease the pain before we went to hospital, I took a shower. Standing didn't turned out to be comfortable so I moved to the bath which helped me relax. I ate a piece of toast and drank some orange juice and worked through each contraction as they came. When I felt like I needed to move around, I got out of the bath, dried myself off and put the TENS machine (hired from Sweet Beats) on my back. The TENS machine works by delivering small electrical impulses through electrode adhesive pads attached to the skin. These distract the brain from the contractions.

As well as using the TENS machine, the following things worked wonders to tick each contraction off and to distract my mind from the pain:

• The Freya app to guide my breathing

• Deep groaning noises which came naturally and really helped work through the discomfort

• Rocking my body from side to side on the floor to get through each one

Off to Hospital

At 7:30am my contractions were progressing. From how far they were spaced apart the Freya app told me I was in the advanced stages. We called the hospital again and they said to make our way in. We arrived at 8am, we met with Lionel and were introduced to Kim who would be assisting us with the birth. I gave her my birth plan (you can read it here) while she settled us into the birthing suite.

Kim monitored the baby while Lionel checked to see how things were going. I moved around the room trying different labouring positions we had learnt in our calm birthing class. At 9am I stripped off to my t-shirt and had a vaginal examination. Kim told me I was 9cm dilated and remarked that I must have done most of the work at home. At the same time my husband had gone to park the car and for a moment I thought he might miss the show! I worked through each contraction as they came and used the TENS machine and pressed the acupuncture points around my ear that my dad had shown me.

I kept thinking “if the pain gets worse I’ll ask for the gas” however as soon as I thought a contraction was getting too much, it was over and I just waited for the next one. I was counting them down as one step closer to meeting my baby (a hypnobirthing technique).

The baby needed a bit more time to make his way down the birth canal so Kim told me that if I felt the pressure to push, to resist the urge. After what felt like only a few contractions, time is an illusion during childbirth, Lionel popped back in and said it was time to push.

For this second stage of labour, I tried several positions to push. I knelt up on the bed, then over the bed and tried squatting between my husband’s legs (yes he made it back in time) but Lionel told me I was pushing best on my back. I held onto my thighs and pushed every time I felt the pressure to bear down. Kim told me to remove my bra in preparation for skin-to-skin and went to set up the crib for the baby’s arrival. It was at that point that I realised how close we were to meeting him.

At one stage I noticed that Lionel had taken my husband down the other end of the bed and was talking through what was happening. I didn’t want to see the birth through a mirror, which is an option, and I definitely didn’t want my husband witnessing it in case he was traumatised for life! Between contractions I said to him “Are you sure you want to be down there?!” But he wasn’t phased in the slightest and now I wish I had been able to see for myself what was happening. When it came to the time, the whole process felt natural and I didn’t feel inhibited at all.

Out of the whole birth experience, pushing was by far the most difficult. Not because of the pain but the fatigue. With each urge to push, I took a deep breath in and pushed long and low down into my back. I would push 3 or 4 times before the urge subsided. Or until I could no longer do it out of sheer exhaustion and lack of breath. It felt like I was holding my breath underwater. After each one I would be so puffed it took a moment to regain a steady breath. This went on for a few rounds with short breaks in between. Lionel then told us the baby was getting tired, so he was going to use a ventouse/vacuum to help birth his head. While this was not part of my low invention plan, it was best for the baby so I agreed without hesitation. After one long push his head crowned. Lionel attached the ventouse. He told me to gently push and with a slight pull of the vacuum I birthed his head. I was told to push gently so as not to tear or need an episiotomy. A warm compress was held down there to help stretch the area. After another gentle push I birthed his arms and shoulders. Then Lionel took my hands, cupped them underneath the baby’s armpits and told me push while pulling him out. That was an unexpected and wonderful experience. I can say I birthed my baby!

So it was at 10:20am that Harrison Beau was born, five hours and twenty minutes after the contractions first started. He was checked over then handed to me for skin-to-skin. Our calm birthing class recommended at least one hour of skin-to-skin, two hours if possible, to promote bonding and breastfeeding. They also recommended to allow the baby to initiate breastfeeding rather than being guided onto the nipple. Lionel asked whether we wanted delayed cord clamping which I did and my husband cut the cord. To assist the fourth stage of labour, the birth of the placenta, I had a syntocinon injection to induce contractions and shortly after birthed the placenta. That was a strange feeling, it felt like pushing out a slimy pancake!

Those early moments were surreal. We were in shock and awe of this little boy who had been living in my belly for the past 9 months. It’s so incredible what ours bodies are capable of.

After the two hours of skin-to-skin I took a shower while my husband was shown how to dress our baby. We were then transferred to the maternity suite. Once we settled into our room, we called our families and friends. They were surprised to hear that we had the baby as we had only seen or spoken to many of them the day before.

I was on a high for the next few days. I had little sleep but had all of the energy in the world because of the hormones. It felt wonderful. I can easily say that those few days after Harrison's birth were some of the happiest days of my life. It’s amazing how a little baby can bring family together like nothing else can.

So there you have it, that’s my birth story and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

Lei xx

*I wanted a low invention birth to let the hormones, oxytocin and endorphins, kick in without interference. I wrote a birth plan but was also open to invention if it was necessary and recommended by medical professionals. As long as baby and mum are well, that’s all that matters.

---

Other Posts on Motherhood